30 Weeks
25 Jan 2012 Leave a Comment
Last Friday I reached the 30 week mark in my pregnancy, a couple of weeks into the 3rd trimester. Now that we have made it this far I wish I would have taken and posted photos of my ever-growing waistline every so often and maybe written a little bit about what was happening to body and how I was feeling about it. I think I’m finally realizing that this is real and we are going to have a real live baby in our arms soon.
It’s not too late to start documenting this pregnancy though and, really, my baby bump was pretty small up until just a few weeks ago anyway. Baby boy has been healthy and active, though not as active as Andy was, and growing right on schedule. He gets hiccups often and doesn’t like the waistband of my pants encroaching on his territory. I am now visiting my midwife every two weeks and will have another ultrasound soon to check on the status of my placenta previa. Hopefully it has migrated and I can avoid a C-section. This same thing happened during my pregnancy with Andy with good results so I’m not too worried.
When I was pregnant with both Josh and Andy I saw an OB/GYN and delivered in a labor and delivery unit at a hospital. I had great experiences with the nurses during labor and with the hospital in general but this time I want to try something a little different. I am seeing a midwife and will deliver in a birth center which is located in a hospital. If all goes as planned, I want to experience a water birth. I had a pretty laid back approach to labor and delivery with my first two and was blessed that they were both easy births. This time I am a bit heart set on a water birth so I hope and pray that history will repeat itself and it will be possible.
I am getting really excited about meeting this little guy. I am not really one to bond prenatally with my babies, and with Andy it didn’t happen until well after he was born but the other day, baby boy was poking out on my side and I could actually feel the little knob of his knee or heel through my stretched skin. It was then that this little person in my head became a little person in my heart. When Josh was born I fell immediately in love with him and felt I was put on this earth to be his mommy but, much to my surprise, it wasn’t the same with Andy. It turns out I had postpartum depression and although I loved him deeply I had an extremely hard time responding to his needs without flipping the freak out. It’s so hard to explain and, like so many women, I couldn’t even identify it at the time but saying it was awful is an understatement. I’m quite frightened that it will happen again so I am trying to be proactive about my expectations and the reality of caring for a newborn. I’ve talked with my midwife about my fears and she has given me some ideas to help combat depression naturally. She has also assured me that if natural remedies don’t help that it’s ok to get help through medication. Thankfully, now that I know how it feels, I think that I will be more apt to ask for help if I need it.
Physically, I feel like I shouldn’t complain but I am older this time around and I can definitely feel the difference. I am much more achy and crampy and seriously exhausted. A couple of weeks ago I was talking to my cousin about the obnoxious prenatal pillow she used during her last pregnancy and Chris took the clue and immediately (I have a great husband!) ran out to get me one. All I can say is that pillow has changed my life. Oh, and I’m sorry, Christine, for teasing you about your insanely large and weird-looking pillow. I now own one! I have also been having painful leg and foot cramps quite often, usually in the middle of the night. I’ve even had to take a hot bath at 2am to help alleviate the pain once already this pregnancy. Not fun at all. It will soon be all over and a distant memory though. I’ll be happy to get my body back but I’m even more excited to meet my little guy! Whatever I have to go through, and, really, it’s nothing compared to what many women have to deal with, it’s all worth it in the end.
Twenty-Twelve
11 Jan 2012 Leave a Comment
Well, it’s Twenty-twelve, that’s how we were instructed to pronounce it in church on New Year’s Day by Josh’s youth pastor who was preaching. Not two thousand and twelve or even two thousand twelve because those just aren’t cool. Twenty-twelve. You know, the word twelve is starting to look funny to me.
Anyway.
We’ve put away all the Christmas decorations so the new year has officially begun. A time to begin again; forget about the past but take the lessons learned into the future. Throughout 2011 and especially lately, I have been drawn to a passage, Isaiah 43 specifically verses 18 & 19, which were used in that same New Year’s Day sermon.
I feel like I need a disclaimer right here: I am a miserable, wretched sinner and I have no business quoting scripture since I don’t make much time to actually read it let alone change my wicked behavior. What I’m trying to say is, I am a hypocrite. But even God can redeem this hypocrite.
Let’s move on.
But forget all that—
it is nothing compared to what I am going to do.
For I am about to do something new.
See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?
I will make a pathway through the wilderness.
I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.
Isaiah 43:18-19
He is going to do something new! Not only that but He is already doing it! I have been wandering through an angry wilderness but He will make rivers and paths. In fact, He’s been making them all along. I think I can finally see it through my self-centered point of view. Oh, I have a long way to go. It is a journey, isn’t it?
This new year, twenty-twelve, I don’t have a list of resolutions. Sure, I have some hopes and plans, but beyond that I want to make what I know in my head finally be real in my heart. I’m scared. I know my nasty human nature will fail over and over again (and I despise that about myself) but I want to believe that God is there making a way, providing refuge, and redeeming my time in the desert. I want to lay bare my soul, quit doubting His goodness, and see what God is going to do with this hypocrite.
Seasonal Celebrations
02 Jan 2012 Leave a Comment
Christmas, my favorite time of year, has come and gone. I don’t usually have many Christmas-related obligations to attend but I do enjoy a good party with family, friends, lots of food and Christmas goodies! I look forward to a Christmas Eve candlelight church service and reflecting on the birth of our Savior, Jesus. I love the music, twinkling lights, and choosing gifts for those I love. I thought I would write about some of the ways I celebrated Christmas this year:
In recent years I have felt convicted about my focus, or lack thereof, on why we celebrate Christmas. Not that I didn’t focus at all on Jesus but there were so many other things taking my attention that when Christmas was finally over, I had a feeling that I missed something, I felt let down. This year, amid all the lights and gifts, my family went through the Jesse Tree Advent devotional, or as Andy calls them, collosians, every evening. Each story points towards the promise that God gave in the Garden of Eden to send us a Savior and each night gets us closer to the coming of the King. I made a conscious decision to have no expectations because with our schedules we would surely miss a night or two and with an active 3-year-old and a surly preteen our devotional time may not be all that peaceful. We had to make up a couple of nights and I had to read through noise but I pray that we all found peace in the promise of Jesus. I know I am and I hope that it leads to a richer Christmas experience that lasts all year.
Chris and I have taken Keith up on his offer to watch the boys every so often and recently went downtown St. Paul to stroll through Rice Park. The park is decked out in Christmas lights including a very large evergreen tree. It’s stunning and festive and I was hoping to have a hot beverage in my hand to ward off the cold but the local coffee shops had already closed for the night. Oh well. We didn’t stay long because we weren’t dressed warm enough but we did have some great discussions including one about church which finally led us to discover what will probably become our church home after wandering in church wilderness for the last five years. That’s for another post though.
A couple of months ago, through blogland, I read about a new concert called The Story. It is a multi-media presentation of the characters of the Bible through song and video. It sold out here in the Twin Cities and I wasn’t sure we had money to spend on going anyway. Meanwhile, my sister-in-law’s mother was given two tickets and when I expressed my (righteous) jealousy she gave me her ticket because as it turns out, she didn’t really want to go. I took my niece Jamie, who was already planning on going, and we had a good time. The concert was even more fabulous and soul-stirring and even better than I had expected.
Another concert I attended was my own son’s first band concert. He plays the trombone. I should say he just blows into the mouth piece and moves the slide because he doesn’t like to practice to learn actual songs. Apparently he had a solo note and I listened hard but I missed it. Regardless, I was pretty proud of him even though I couldn’t see him play. I caught a glimpse of him on the way back to his seat after his portion of the concert. The band sounded fairly decent for a bunch of sixth graders of whom the majority have been playing their instrument for only few months.
Christmas Eve we went to our new church for a beautiful service. Christmas day we went to my parents church and then to Matt and Amy’s after the service for lunch and opening gifts. I brought my camera but only took a few photos. We were crowded and it was fun just to sit and watch all the kids open their presents. All in all, it was a peaceful, relaxing, joy-filled weekend.
During the week Chris’s parents came to visit and we celebrated with them. I even made the whole Christmas turkey dinner. “Whoa” is all I can say. Oh, and yum! It was a lot of work but I loved serving them and my guys in that way. We had a fun and busy few days with them.
The weekend after Christmas we usually have my mom’s family Christmas. All her siblings and families come from across the country to celebrate and it is quite chaotic but fun. This year, no one was able to come for various reasons. So we spent time with the small group in town. We ate Korean food and made lefse and had a great, if not quiet, time with each other celebrating the New Year. I missed my Aunts Denean and Dori, my Uncle Dan and all their families very much. It wasn’t the same without them.
So another year is over and a new one begins. Praise God for new beginnings. I have a few hopes and goals for this year, 2012, and I am looking forward to a year of new.
Twelve Years Ago
05 Dec 2011 1 Comment
Twelve years ago today I awoke before the sun with a slight twinge, so slight it didn’t catch the attention of my sleepy mind. One hour and three regular twinges later, I finally realized what those twinges were. Just a few short hours before that, after a full night of fellowship and laughter with family, I laid down to sleep and told God I was ready when He was. Those twinges grew longer, closer together, and more painful as the sun came up and climbed across the sky. Through it all I took the time to bathe, style my hair, and apply some makeup. With my favorite movie of the season, White Christmas, playing on the TV, I thought about what was going to happen; how my life was about to change. I met family for lunch and took a trip to Target with my mom for some Christmas shopping. Soon the sun had begun its descent into the horizon and my body had begun its transition to motherhood. My baby, my first-born, was welcomed into the world thirteen hours after that first slight twinge. Josh was born red and screaming and I was born a mother, scared and in love. Twelve years have gone by since that day. Just how fast does twelve years go by? You have only to ask me for although some days seemed endless the time truly is short. Josh is well on his way to becoming a kind and generous young man. His laughter is contagious and his eyes speak volumes, when he wants them to. He is twelve after all. We have a long road ahead of us as he is birthed into adolescence and I into the mother of one who knows it all. In this next year, through that birth process, I pray that he grow with Jesus and I show him Jesus. Because, besides the gift of Jesus, the gift of Josh changed my life forever. I ache for him to know the gift of Jesus too and experience his own heart change. That is my prayer for Josh, on this his twelfth birthday.
I love you, Josh! Happy birthday!
Oh, what has become the yearly visit to Las Margaritas and the embarrassing scoop of whipped cream in the face to a pubescent boy!
Bentleyville 2011
29 Nov 2011 Leave a Comment
Between walking at the Walk to End Hunger event and putting up our Christmas decorations over the long Thanksgiving weekend, we took a drive north to Duluth to see Bentleyville, Tour of Lights. 
Because of Josh’s gorgeous red hair, his friends have started calling him Ginger so he wanted his picture in front of Ginger Park full of playing gingerbread people.
Andy wanted his picture in front of the Christmas train and the Depot. He loves trains!
I have a thing for Nativity scenes and I take a picture of this particular scene in lights every year.
During our half hour wait to see Santa, we were preparing a reluctant Andy to sit with Santa and to tell him what he wanted for Christmas when Santa asked. Andy kept saying that he wanted a present even when we tried to get him to be more specific. Finally when we reached Santa, he asked Josh what he wanted to which Josh replied “A snowboard.” When Santa asked Andy what he wanted he told Santa he wants a skateboard!
After visiting Bentleyville, we went to Grandma’s to eat dinner before the drive back home. I think we all had fun and I enjoyed carrying on what seems to have become a tradition for our family.
Thanksgiving Living 2011
24 Nov 2011 Leave a Comment
For the fourth year we have participated as a family in the Walk to End Hunger at the Mall of America on Thanksgiving morning.
There was a kids station where kids could make something to wear on their heads. They could choose cutouts of their favorite foods, stickers, streamers, and ribbons.
Andy chose green beans, a red apple, an orange, a green apple, and a carrot for his hat. And a green ribbon to represent his favorite color of the day.
Josh chose to make a tall chef’s hat with an apple, a pear, a carrot and some ribbons but it bugged him so much that he ended up throwing it away.
We walked a couple of times around the mall, stopped at Cinnabon for some breakfast, and strolled through Old Navy which was open for shopping. I have mixed feelings about stores being open on major holidays. I wouldn’t have made a special trip but since we were there I wanted to take a look.
We had fun spending time as a family and being a small part of giving back to our communities and helping those less fortunate. It’s definitely become a tradition that I hope we can continue for years to come. Unless hunger becomes no longer a problem. Now that would be something!
Football Hero
22 Nov 2011 Leave a Comment
This fall Josh played football for the Prescott Black team. They were such a good team with a great rookie coach. They didn’t win a lot of their games but they did learn a ton about the game and playing different positions. The coach wasn’t too worried about winning games, he wanted the boys to learn the fundamentals and to play with integrity. And that they did. Winning was just a bonus.
Josh played several positions on offense and defense including center. He even got to carry the ball a few time too. I was too excited for him (and nervous) to actually take any photos of those moments. Sorry, Josh! He did so well and I was so proud of him the whole season!
There’s Josh, #60. His helmet gave him the worst red mark on his forehead and was so uncomfortable but he was part of just about every single play for every single game that he didn’t have many breaks from wearing it. That’s part of the game though. No complainin’!
Last Spring I bought a new 8-point-star lens filter and thought about taking stadium light photos at Josh’s games almost immediately. I was excited to try it out and I am not disappointed with the results. So this photo of the boys in a huddle is basically for me 
Josh played hard every game but the last game of the season was exceptional. Not only did he rip a fingernail halfway off but he lost a tooth. In fact, it was knocked out during a play. There was lots of blood, which normally makes Josh very nervous, but he was so proud and tough. He is my football hero!
It’s A…
20 Nov 2011 3 Comments
We found out in July that we are pregnant and expecting a baby in March. After experiencing a miscarriage this past March we were a little gun-shy about announcing our news and waited several weeks to tell friends and family. Even now, at 21 weeks, I am still taking it one day at a time. It’s been slow but at the same time is going by fast and every week that passes I feel like we are one step closer to welcoming a precious, healthy baby into our family.
I decided I needed to find out the gender of the baby but I wanted to do it in a fun way. I asked the O.B. who did the ultrasound to write the gender on a piece of paper and seal it in an envelope. Then I took it to our local bakery and asked them to make a cake with either pink or blue inside so that when we cut into it we would then know if our baby was a boy or a girl. To be honest, I wasn’t too impressed with the cake but it was very tasty so that made up for the craftsmanship. It wasn’t the colors and fondant that I ordered and I feel that I could have done the crappy icing job and neon icing dots but oh well. It was fun and we were able to spend time with our families celebrating the coming of a new baby.
Boy!
I am so excited to be expecting our new baby boy and I feel like I can bond with our son better now. We can start to really discuss names and make more specific plans for our home. I am so thankful for our tiny blessing!
Snow!
19 Nov 2011 Leave a Comment
We got our first snow fall of the year today and the boys were so excited to go out and play in it. Me on the other hand? Not so excited. I had to search the house over for all the various outdoor cold weather clothing and I probably definitely cussed a couple times in the process. The good thing about it, though, is that they shoveled the driveway. The bad thing about it is Josh thinks he deserves $10. I’ll probably give him $1.
Our Big Boy
19 Nov 2011 1 Comment
Ok. Here’s the deal: I have a ton of stuff floating around in my mind and heart and that seems to be the reason I can’t manage to blog. So until I can find a way to put into words all that I am thinking and feeling, I am just going to go ahead and blog about all the other stuff going on in my family. I’ll start with blogging about our big boy, Andy.
Early this year we decided Andy was big enough for a big boy bed since he was able to crawl up and into the crib. There were attempts to crawl out but those were thwarted by his fear. He was just a few months from turning three years old so the timing was appropriate anyway.
Because of Chris’s great love for the outdoors and his background in Boy Scouts, I purchased a camping themed quilt set on clearance for Andy’s new bed. I had all these plans for decorating his room but I am so lazy that it is still half set up for a baby and all that I have done is make his bed. It’s been 10 months so if it hasn’t happened by now it probably won’t happen anytime soon. He’s happy though and loves sleeping in his big boy bed! The transition was fairly seamless, thankfully.
Do you know what wasn’t so seamless? Potty training. Not seamless.
In March, over spring break, Chris thought we could start potty training Andy and I was all for it. We were both extremely tired of changing diapers. It wasn’t successful. When Chris went back to work the next week, I became lazy about it and then I went through the miscarriage. After that, I completely stopped working with Andy and we went back to diapers full time. Then over the summer we picked up where we left off but this time we were armed. Chris bought a Cars potty chair, Cars Pull-ups, and a Cars watch that we could set to go off however often we chose to help Andy and ourselves remain consistent. But even then we failed and Andy didn’t seem to care about going in the potty. Finally in early September, one Saturday morning when I was at Josh’s football game, Chris was frustrated enough that he threw underpants on Andy and took him to a church carnival. That brave soul. By Monday Andy was using the toilet “all myself” and after a couple of weeks, when he was consistently dry all night, he was in underpants exclusively. He was more than ready and has had very few accidents. Now we’ve just got to work on aiming.
I can’t believe how fast Andy is growing up. He is soaking in everything and loves to learn all he can. He is quite independent and such a big boy!
I would post photos but any of Andy’s room would just be dumb (absolutely no décor) and I certainly won’t post photos of his behind in underpants. Ok, I might, but not today.
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